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Friday, 19 February 2010
You're So Vain...




I'm not going to write about "that." Stop checking. You're pathetic.

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Thursday, 18 February 2010
GRID NEWS




SHOCK, HORROR-Valentine’s Day pandemonium broke out on Sunday at the Kiss a Linden event...........
No it didn’t, I was being sarcastic. It was as crap as it is every year. I did go over to have a look, but all I saw was noobs wandering aimlessly just like every other year. Maybe it’s my time zone, but I never ever get to see a Linden at these things never mind kiss one.

I did notice on the SL Blog that there was going to be some sort of Scavenger hunt with clues. The clues could be found at various places. They could also be found on the Face Book social networking site, should you be arsed to go find them. I did try to take part in this fun(/me rolls eyes) event but my attention span isn’t great and I got side tracked looking at some of the sl residents accounts on Face Book instead. While doing this it was brought to my attention by one of the SLIWT Team that you aren’t allowed to have a Face Book account with a fake name. In the real world this would constitute your avatar name. NewsFlash......Your avatar name isn’t real.

For all you social butterflies who like to Tweet, Plurk, Facebook, BeBo and My Space your days away there is now something else you can get addicted to that is just as pointless. Someone called me up the other day to ask me why they couldn’t find me to friend me on the social networking site for gaming avatars, appropriately named Avatars United. I have no intention of joining this, but in the name of investigative journalism one of the SLIWT covert team went and made an account. He said he immediately felt the love after being sent friend requests from about a zillion people. The only thing was he didn’t know the people and the rush of love quickly turned to spam. I am not putting the link to it in because it’s stupid. Chances are most people are already in it and are feeling the spam.

Another news topic that still seems to be dominating the grid is the copybotting and content theft. Some people just don’t realise the extent that some of our well known creators and designers go to to sort out those who rip and steal. Just last week I bumped into my very cool friend, Rustica owner, Maxwell Graf. Max had filed reports about content theft to the DMCA and hadn’t heard anything back. It was time for desperate measures.

Just in case DMCA people are reading this Max has had to do this in world over his Sims and he would be very grateful if someone could contact him asap.




A tip for anyone filing DMAC reports DON’T EMAIL THEM. They don’t respond to email and will only respond to fax or posted mail, and endeavour to do this within 3 days.
It struck me as very bizarre the amount of people who looked at me like I was insane whenever I mentioned Sion Chickens to them. Most people hadn’t a clue what I was talking about, but then I don’t spend all my time pretending to be a perfect SL resident. I like to spend my SL time laughing and I really do like to go out and poke dead things with sticks. I tried to take a few people to show them the chicken farms but I couldn’t. For some reason I am region banned from these places . I was a bit pissed off at this because I don’t actually remember doing anything worthy of this, but I am sure whoever added me to it done it as a precautionary measure for what could have happened.
Anyway, who cares? So what, chickens are like soooooo 2009, shove your chicken farms and your region ban up your ass, bunny rabbits are in for 2010. I was so hoping the Flying Monkey would take off as the pet to have in 2010, but it wasn’t the case.
The bunnies are brill and are similar to the chickens only you don’t have to worry about people choking them by lifting them out of their cages on big mega prims so they walk of the edges of Sims, fall off and die. The bunnies don’t die like the chickens do, but they breed and you can still make money if you breed a super duper bunny. Get your bunny stuff below.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Ozimals/171/187/34

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Wednesday, 10 February 2010
GRID NEWS



 I went to have a look at the SL Police Blotter the other day to see what crimes were being committed on the grid. For those who aren’t familiar with what it is basically it’s a list of the last 25 crimes and the punishment handed out. I was kind of shocked at what I saw.

Could it really be so? Has grid crime been completely stamped out? Or are SL criminals just getting smarter and not getting caught? Or was this just an internet glitch and me being an airhead?

That brings me to my next topic, criminals on Second Life. It is no secret that there are a lot of deranged sociopaths playing Second Life. I am not joking when I say that because apparently it is a brilliant way to have those who are insane find a bit of normality. What is even more fun is that they don’t have to put it on their SL profile and they aren’t going to tell you they are nuts either. When I first started using Second Life I heard all the warnings in real life about not talking to strangers and how I could end up talking to an axe murdering serial killer, who would come and stick his big chopper in me. Three years have passed and sadly no one has put their big chopper in me, but I do still hope and pray.

Ok stop laughing because I am trying to be serious here. This morning while hanging around talking with my friends it was brought to my attention that there is a big chance that there is a serial killer loose on the grid. Why? Well because some prisons allow maximum security inmates and prisoners on Death Row access to the internet and to SECOND LIFE for up to 2 hours a day. If perhaps your lover or new BFF only logs on for 2 hrs a day there is a big chance one day they are going to just vanish in a puff of smoke, literally.

With Valentine’s day only a few days away and with SL’s adultery and divorce numbers seeming to soar at this time of year, I thought I'd show you all something. Now you can get prepare for any shocks you might get over the romantic weekend. Why not capture that shock moment with a pose and a pic? You can find the below pose at Glitterati. Anyone who can send me a pic of such a ménage à trois, I promise to reward you.




The fashion world got news from Mad Image when the announcement that 6 new stylists have joined the team. There are Spudgy Dean, Gabe Bookmite, Ganymedes Costagravas, Sol Cortes, Takeshi Ugajin and Till Hapmouche.

I would personally like to congratulate one of them. Spudgy Dean has been my friend now for a while and I found this picture of us last summer racing chickens, and I just had to print it. He is the one with the horse’s legs. He is also going to kill me for this.


Last but not least, I am sure you have all saw this when you have been logging in. Linden Labs are giving homes away.
 
 I haven’t been to see them or find out much about this, but after thrashing this subject out with some friends, we came to the conclusion that the house would probably suck up all the prim on the TIER FREE 512 bit of land you get on a premium account. This would be very frustrating not being able to furnish you new home, which I am sure is a work of art on its own. It would probably lead to you having to buy the adjoining parcel of mainland next to that of your tier free bit. Everyone wins. You get a house and LL get the tier for the bit of mainland you just bought.

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Monday, 8 February 2010
How to have a happy Second Life (an experts opinion)




OMG, My devious imagination has been running wild and I have been trying to decide what to write about first. When you have been behaving for a while, it’s hard to get back into the swing of things and I get all muddled up wondering what to talk about first. I mentioned in my last column that I had met a lot of new people and a few older ones. I am now quite an experienced SL resident and I have lots of fun things to show the quieter, less extrovert people who live on the grid. Can I label myself an expert? Oh yes, I think I have definitely earned my label. With that in mind,I decided to tell you all a few things you will need to know for your Second Life that they don’t tell you at Orientation Island. I will do this in instalments over the next few weeks and if I think of any others or hear or see people talk shit, you will be the first to know. My first topic would have to be privacy and spying on the Grid. I prefer the term ‘COVERT OPS’ as opposed to ‘STALKING’. Seriously, there is a difference.

Just so you all know (for those of you who aren’t already familiar with me) I regularly help people with delicate issues they have in their Second Lives. I do this quietly, privately, efficiently and all in the name of good clean fun. That is not an invite for people to offload their sl relationship problems onto me. SL Marriage guidance counsellor I ain’t! I am not a psychotherapist either and you probably won’t appreciate my bluntness. State your case, but remember my shoulder is a tear free zone.

Just last week, a lady who I didn’t know, IM’d me and asked me for help with a problem she was having. The problem had two legs and a penis and I know this because we laughed at the fact he had uploaded a picture of it for her. I declined the chance to see the picture because I am a firm believer in the fact that if you have seen one you have seen them all. Anyway, the lady was having an issue with the behaviour of the man; she said something just wasn’t right with the way he was behaving. Immediately I assumed there was another woman, but that wasn’t the problem. She told me that for some odd reason he just knew everything she done, where she went and who she spoke with. It was blowing her mind and she didn’t know how he was doing it. They had just become engaged and he had bought her a really nice ring and I told her to immediately bin it. I didn’t tell her to dump his stalking spying ass; I told her to TP over to the store he bought the ring and buy a new one. The new one wouldn’t have the spy device he had cunningly placed in it and her problems would be over. The lesson in this story is if you think a lover has bugged you, the most obvious thing to do would be to get rid of them, but I suggest you just don’t mention it, replace the ring and drive them insane. I mean, it’s not as if they are going to mention it! I would like to add before I move on to the next topic that using spy equipment is against the Linden Lab Terms of Service.

My next topic would be the copy and pasting of conversations. EVERYBODY does it at some point in their SL day, whether it be because someone has said something hysterically funny and you want to show others, or because someone was being a complete wanker and you want to show others how hysterically funny it is. The copy and pasting of convos, WITHIN the second life game, WITHOUT the consent of another is a big no no. I have noticed some people write a kind of warning on their profiles saying they will be doing it should it be needed to be used against me. This type of warning is ok if you have a business in SL and you might need to file an AR or a DMCA on someone, but random avatars listen up. You aren’t allowed to do it, so you can’t show your friends, no matter what type of disclaimer you have added to your crappy self characterization. Should you still feel the need to have to do it, here is my expert advice. NEWSFLASH! Take a screenshot of the convo, copy and paste is soooo 2007.

Meeting new people and having fun is what SL is all about. It is not about forgetting about real life and coming on here and annoying the hell out of the normal funny people because you are sad that you haven’t achieved anything in the real word. Some of us really don’t give a damn, so don’t try to impress our pixels unless whatever it is you do you can insert a ‘LOL’ at the end of your sentences or you don’t mind us putting one at the end of ours when we talk about you being famous in this site. Men must always keep in mind that most of the women in SL are actually men and use voice changing software as well.

It would help immensely if LL would issue at statement at Help Island for new avatars not to accept the offer of free clothing or skins especially those made at Damiani. My friend Pompeja who owns Damiani, is having a hard time filing AR’S every time she sees someone wearing one. Skins aren’t free and they are usually NO TRANSFER. The same goes for hair and shoes. What many people fail to realise is that someone spent a lot of time making the FREE stuff you will be offered. SURPRISE! Some of it isn't FREE, it’s STOLEN, so help us all out on our war against content theft and copybotting and decline the stolen freebies. For experts like us, it’s easy to spot someone dripping in stolen stuff. Anti inspect  make me want to inspect you and shields don’t work with us, sorry. Rawly, I know can crack an anti inspect sheild in 3 seconds.

Gesture playing within SL is always fun for new people and I am brill friends with Blazin Aubret who is the purveyor of most of the funny Gestures you hear but don’t know where to get them. Follow this SLurl below to get all your Gestures and then you can annoy people in the clubs of SL. Even if you an old sl person TP over and to say Hi to Blazin, she’s very funny and is older than any sl person I know. She rezzed in 2005!!!!!
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Muism/139/70/26

Before I go I’d like to offer a bit of extra special advice. It’s especially for people who are easily drove insane and perhaps have been savvy enough to learn that you can have your offline messages sent to an email address, so you can read them on a phone. DON’T CLICK ANYTHING THAT SAYS SUB-SCRIBO-MATIC or HIPPO THINGY. If you are like me you will be driven insane with the messages and if you’re blonde you will forget where you joined and won’t have a LM to get back to click the board to get out of this contract you didn’t realise you signed up to. OOOP's Blazin has one, but its ok to join hers cause she gives ya free funny stuff.

Ok I’m off now, but stay posted because I have had a few hundred requests in the last week from people asking where we get all our fun huds and tricks, so I’ll be posting a report on the best of the best very soon.

Lots of Love



Natalie xx

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Wednesday, 3 February 2010
Playing Pixel Barbies Hot New Trend For Thugs




Perhaps I'm the only one who sees the humor in this pic, but I thought it would be a good reminder to keep your pics updated, especially if you edit your appearance regularly.

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Saturday, 30 January 2010
Crook Assists In Own Exposure



At the Ahern Welcome Center on Friday, January 29, JStevenson Oppenbaum was seen wearing a copybotted knit cap, stolen from Air Winx, who sells his creations under his "Argrace" label.

It was reported that two avatars were standing in close proximity to each other, and were giving obeservers the impression that they were both being controlled by the same person. The avatars had similarities that raised suspicions, and the female avatar was wearing an Argrace beanie.

Because the JStevenson Oppenbaum account was only two days old, and wearing a hat that a more experienced player would have, an observer inspected the hat.

The hat was discovered to be made by JStevenson Oppenbaum, a 2 day old account. The hat also still had the "Argrace" label on the side. An Abuse Report was filed against JStevenson Oppenbaum, for intellectual copywrite infringement/copybotting.

As of this writing, JStevenson Oppenbaum no longer comes up in search under the "People" tab, an indication that an account has been suspended or terminated by LL.

Copybotting has become so commonplace in SL that writing about it no longer seems to surprise or shock anybody. The real world is flooded with counterfeit merchandise. While there may never be an end to flea market designer goods, the fake products also serve to grow the brand and fuel the desire for the genuine articles. I wrote this article thinking, "What a tired subject. Why bother?" I bothered because people need to know that filing the Abuse Reports do result in action. The copybotters probably have more than one account, so it is probably futile to report them, but why not give them back a little of their own grief?
For anyone who loves hunting, and could use a break once in a while to go and do something that is both devious and productive, finding and reporting copybotters at mainland welcome centers can be a fun game, especially when the crook leaves the designer labels on the merchandise.


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Sunday, 24 January 2010
Two Decades And Ain't Banned Yet.




Here we are, welcome to the new decade. Now that we've all spanned two decades of virtual SLives, what kinds of things do we have to look forward to in the future? Next month will be the SL Pro conference, where they will be having conferences on all sorts of things that would be interesting to anyone who is serious about their businesses in SL. Recent financial reports also indicate that the SL economy continues to grow despite RL economic conditions, giving people hope that the virtual world will continue to be a viable source of alternative income for many.

If you believe in evolution, then you are probably expecting more of the same, with improvements here and there, and hopefully some things will finally die off. I think we are all ready for bling to die off, but what I accidentally found recently might be a cool replacement for bling. Below are the "Glam Headphones" from Cutemurder.

You know how textures flash when you have overlapping prims? In this case, I think it's a case of overlapping prims, with slightly offset textures, that create a dazzling, sparkling effect like diamonds under light. Despite the fact that Cutemurder officially makes women's stuff, I think the sparkly glam headphones look great for either sex, and are a must see for anyone who loves creating sparkly things.




This year, I'm doing my part to be reduce my carbon footprint and do more recycling. This includes wearing older, more classic clothes, such as this "Hick Ringer" from Renegade, and Muism's "Vintage Cuffed" jeans, but maybe updating them with some cool new accessories. My current favorite watch is from Chronokit. It looks amazing, has all kinds of dials and stuft that move, has a cool hud, and even includes "checking my watch" poses and clock gongs on the hours. Chronokit has other stuff like chairs, tables, and clocks, so go take a look if you need some cool looking odds and ends.

Finally, no man or woman should ever let their shoe collection lag, recession or not. Fortunately, Hoorenbeek makes it easy to stay stylish without feeling guilty about being indulgent. They have all kinds of new stuff, from clothes to shoes to other accessories. It's all top quality, and they are offering at least one color of most of their shoes for sale at L$200 a pair. That's right, L$200 for the latest shoes from Hoorenbeek.

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Thursday, 21 January 2010
WHAT NATALIE DID NEXT..............



A CURE FOR A SLINWORLDTODAY ADDICTION


We have decided that due to demand from our readers and friends that we would have to come back and stir things up a bit. Before I start I’d like to wish you all a happy new year and a belated happy Halloween cause I never did finish that, did I?



It has amazed us and made us laugh, the amount of people who claim to hate us with a passion, that have logged into to read this site every single day since we went on our break. They did this even though there wasn’t anything new here to read. We have decided to call it the SLIWT addiction. It’s not an addiction to everyone though, only to those who hate us and deny coming to it.

I’d like to clarify something that might be blowing a few peoples minds. If you have a friend who claims they can’t seem to read this web page and find they are being redirected to another destination on the internet, chances are I am responsible for it. I know all the cry-babies who read this site and I know all those who have addictions to it, so I decided to help a few of you out and just ban you from looking at it because you were getting on my nerves with your shit. They are the people who claim never to read what we write and yet can’t help logging in at least 3 times a day to see if we have wrote anything new. Some addicts have even done this during their sl nuptials!!! Imagine that, you would think they would have better things to be doing. Anyway, If you know of anyone who has been locked out and who doesn’t know why, there is a good chance it may be a mistake, because even someone perfect like me makes mistakes, although not often. It’s very simple, all they have to do is contact either Rawly or myself and we will unban you.



There are a few addicts I have allowed to continue reading this page, but not because I like the people but because I am just downright evil. If you happen to be one of those people who perhaps have an addiction to SLIWT or just enjoy hanging on our every word that’s brill, but don’t ever deny that you read this page in public, especially if you have recently done something to make me hate your guts.




Recently it has been brought to my attention that a certain someone, who to my knowledge is very, very addicted to reading SLIWT, has begun to strenuously deny reading. The person in question has always had trouble telling the truth and remembering stuff, so with hindsight of this, I took a screenshot in my stat counter of every single hit they ever made to this site. There is a folder on my desktop full of little pictures with dates, times and the length of your visit. There is quite a collection of them now and they will come in handy for Rawlys “Where are they now?” column he’s thinking of doing. There is nothing like a screenshot of the Stat counter to jog a memory of even the most forgetful avatar.
Ok, let me fill you all in on what it was like leading a quiet and calm Second Life. I went out and met lots of new friends, learned a few lessons taught by a very good teacher (you know who you are) learned a lot about who I was (again you know who you are). I went to lots of clubs( /me yawns), played loads of tricks on people who were using the stupid Emerald Hud thing that tells you people are looking at your profile (yeah that was me making up stuff for your screen) and so on and so forth. I spent time with my older close friends who seemed to be very worried about my quietness and now normal behaviour. One even cared about me so much and because he didn’t get my full attention he removed me from his friends list. He done a lot more than that, but it isn’t for the pages of this site and it was unforgivable.



I soon realised that I was living my second life the way people live in real life and I am not here to fill a gap or make up for anything I can’t be in my rl. Normality in pixels was boring and wasn’t for me, but at least I gave it a shot for a few months.
 I did meet a lot of fun people along my quiet normal adventure during these last few months. Most were new people on the first rush of SL addiction and to be around people experiencing that initial buzz we all remember so well was refreshing for one who’s second life has been anything but normal. I loved sitting listening to their stories of heartbreak, meeting their first sl love and of course to all the drama that seemed to hit everyone at some point. I gave advice to lots of them and showed them how to do new things. One thing I didn’t do was tell them that for the last 3 years of my sl I had put my second life into words for the amusement of others. I didn’t mention this site to them, but it wasn’t long until they mentioned it to me.



It’s hard to hide who you are when you have spent all your time being an open book. That is another thing I have saw happening and it bothered me. I have saw people give up things they really want and know they are destined to have because they can’t be honest with themselves. I have sat and watched people living sl like it was some kind of Life skill. I realised I am who I am, this is what I do here. Looking at my stat counter its obvious  that love me or hate me some of you can’t stay away from reading me. Oh and you, yes you, I probably have already got the screenshot of this hit aswell.



 I’ll be back real soon with a new column and I’ll get Rawly to get writing as well.



Lots of Love

Natalie xx



P.S Its nice to be back .........................



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Saturday, 24 October 2009
EXCLUSIVE EVENTS




The Kmadd boys will be showcasing the designs of Shinichi Mathy during two shows that will take place today on the Kmadd event sim. If you have never been to one of these shows, you should, the Kmadd Boys make sure everyone is made to feel welcome. Not only will you get the chance to see the fabulous creations in the show but it is a great place to be a bit nosey, profile surf and you could also perv the hawt Kmadd models.




Tomorrow is just as exciting, only this one has a twist of Halloween thrown in. Damiani are having a Halloween Party to launch their new sim. I am a good friend of Pompeja, owner of Damiani so I can assure you that you will get a good laugh at this party. The party has been organised by the Studio Red Team who are Second Life’s Event experts, so you won’t want to miss this.



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Wednesday, 21 October 2009
PUT SOME BOUNCE INTO YOUR SECOND LIFE




I hadn't a clue what banner to use for this much sought after piece of information, but I couldn't decide what to do. Well anyway, at last weekends Studio Red Halloween Event a lot of jokes were flying about the tittie bouncing thing you will have all seen in the last columns video. I happened to mention that I knew the secret to bouncing breasts and everyone Lol'd. I could hear the brains ticking and I just knew a lot of people were thinking I was mucking about. After they LOL'd and thought, the IM started asking if I really knew or if I was joking and it hasnt stopped this week.

Ok, for all you chicks(or guys who dress up as chicks or guys who just want to get off looking at your female alt) who want to put some bounce into your breasts, please follow the settings below in your Emerald Viewer. It would be brill if you could let me know how you all get on with this.

Breast MassL 100


Breast rebound: 1

Breast Max vel: 100

Breast friction: 1

Breast Z influence: ( doesnt work)

Breast min vel: 1
 
I would personally like to thank my good friend Connie (Sec) Arida for perfecting these settings and making me laugh so much I nearly fell off my seat. Connie and I will be working on some more fun settings soon so stay tuned.

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